Well Hello There

I'm back, and what a long and eventful three months it's been! There was no knee news for awhile there this fall and then, so much to report it was a bit overwhelming. Here's some of the run-down:

I've assembled a new team. Not a new ortho, heaven forbid! Are you nuts? I did, however, have to resign from the very nice pain dr. b/c he was out of network and once Jan. 1 came, deductibles came with it. That guy was really kind and definitely came thru with emergency meds and sympathy when my mom died.

Let's remember, tho, two things about him: 1) he is also an acupuncturist; 2) his basic conclusion w/me was to think of my pain meds like blood pressure medication -- and get used to the idea that I might need it everyday forever.

Okay, so finding a new pain dr in this day and age (of tragic shooting rampages inspired by opiate withdrawal) is not easy. Most pain docs specialize in backs and they want to give you injections rather than meds. Which is fine, great for back folks. But since my issue is mainly knees, they wouldn't see me.

The one back guy I did see, the one who showed up in an armani suit with spikey hair -- fresh from the club? wanted to give me back injections.

I didn't mention that I also decided to cut my meds on my own and have basically halved the amt. I was taking this summer and fall. Which has been awesome for my energy level and overall not strung-outness. Not as good for not being limited by my pain.

So anyway, I finally find this woman three blocks from my apt. That's not necessarily a good thing since I live in Harlem -- in the 'hood part of Harlem and I happened to know that her office was between the correctional facility, the rent hotel and of course, a housing project (we all live near a housing project in this part of harlem tho). In addition to being a pain dr. and physiatrist, she gives spider vein injections and botox. Hmmmm.

Nonetheless, her credentials are good -- she worked at a very reputable hospital near here for many years, until she struck out on her own.

So she examined me for about an hour and determined that my knee was only a little swollen, my back is really getting very fucked up, and she thinks she can help me get off the meds. thru physical therapy.She also told me lots of horror stories about watching knee replacements gone awry at her old job.

She does gets lots of folks who go from dr. to dr. to dr. looking for 'scripts and she often refuses to treat them if she can't see anything wrong. Brave.

She said no need to go off the meds right away, but eventually if she thinks it's time, she'll give me a year to wean off and if I'm still on 'em after that, she will no longer see me as a patient. I thought that sounded pretty cool and fair enough.

Finally, she sent me to a new PT place. They told me to come in 2x/week, which of course sent me into apoplexy (who has the time for that?). But the PT said, "let's just get this done." That was appealing.

O, but the road here is never smooth is it? Sometime towards the end of the week, both knees freaked out and blew and here I am this weekend feet up, iced up, grumpy grumpy grumpy.

We're Moving On (for awhile anyway)

Okay. Knees are not the thing going on right now so I'm starting a new blog: http://1fallingstartilidrop.blogspot.com/

I kind of can't face this one anymore for some reason anyhow. I think that's a good sign. Shows that I really am moving on from the knees. Hooray!!!

Not that I won't include updates on 'em on the new blog. In fact, I've got a juicy one to get to at some point. Then again, it might be more relevant to this one. In any event, if my profession has provided me with any useful skills at all, it's how to cross-reference so never fear, I'll be posting mainly on the new one but if I decide something belongs here, I'll note it.

Meanwhile, I have to finish my lecture for tomorrow. Am back in NYC for the time being. Am a wreck but have lots to discuss w/the blogosphere as soon as possible.

Thanks everyone for the emails and the calls. You're the best.

Sadness Creeps

For those few of you patient enough to check out these pages and forgive my long silences of late; the reasons are not good.

About 2 weeks ago we found out my ma was in liver failure. She's been declining at a steady rate ever since. The past 24 hours have gone like this: I decided to go home and see her at the end of Nov since I have two big business trips coming up; I decided to cancel the second trip and see her instead; I decided to come home from the first trip on Friday and go right back out again on Saturday to go see her; I decided to fly straight to DC after my talk in Williamstown on Thurs; I decided to cancel Williamstown and am going to see her Thurs. afternoon.

The last decision was arrived at this afternoon, after her oncology nurse told me even a day could make a big difference.

I was a puddle all day -- cried to the pain dr's receptionist trying to explain why I needed an emergency script (I run out next week), cried to my TA explaining why I couldn't give a makeup exam and might not be able to teach on Monday, cried big-time leaving a voice mail for the guy who was organizing my trip to Williams. Cried to the head shrinka' on the phone, making an emergency appt.

Still have a trillion things to cancel, finish, etc.

If my mother taught me anything it's to return messages right away lest your friends desert you. But I want to say, just in case, that I haven't been calling much or returning messages these days b/c there's so much going on, or honestly, I don't always feel like going into it all. Please don't take it personally. I do love you all and need you all.

I'll be in Maryland, in the burbs tomorrow night, and most likely Sat. night, after that I don't know and need to stop guessing.

More soon (hopefully some pretty, philosophical prose on the sweet-sadness of life at its end).

Updatesd

Got in from work 30 min. ago and have to be up at 5:30 b/c I'm blowing off the one last work thing I needed to do today -- post the homework for my students for Monday. Assuming they won't be up by 5:30 tho they will likely be up at midnight to notice that I'm late...

Huh? Why am I thinking onto a computer screen? You see the point was that I'm too exhausted to really post anything. But since I'm here already, I will describe the "Demands Committee" meeting I went to last week (the night before I took off for California which is why I didn't post this sooner).

The crowd was basically 70% 20-somethings, adorable in their earnestness and passion for the cause of "radical democracy" and 25% grey-haired 60-somethings, excited that finally, something more than apathy is happening but also hardened and cynical about process. The other 5% were us middle aged folks who don't happen to have to help anyone with homework on a weeknight.

I was there for about an hour while they debated whether the demands created should be passed with a 90% majority vote or a 70% majority vote. They did all the wacky hand signals and the people's microphone (If you don't know what I'm talking about look it up and check out a video - it's very cool). After many, many "stacks" they took a vote. 80% of those present voted that a 70% majority should be able to pass the demands. Only the folks who voted for the 90% protested that 90% of people were needed to pass the 70%. In other words, there was no basis for a vote to constitute the basis. Get it?

I thought the whole thing was very charming and heart warming and annoying at the same time. Democracy takes a f#$#ing long time. I mean, it's potentially endless. Am I right?

I don't know what happened b/c I left early as I had a 7 a.m. flight. But the next day some newspapers picked up some demands from some faction and published them as if they were "THE DEMANDS." They'd been monitoring the yahoo discussion group (yes, anyone at all can join it -- this is non hierarchical, transparent, etc etc folks) and they basically took what they read and turned it into a story.

So the thing is I think after that meeting the group split and now no one knows who's issuing what demands and which are official, if any.

I say, that's what this is all about -- no leaders, no hierarchies, everyone gets a voice. Vive le disorganization!!

But somehow I didn't make it to another meeting this week....

Bleak Prospects for Avoiding Dangerous Global Warming - ScienceNOW

Bleak Prospects for Avoiding Dangerous Global Warming - ScienceNOW

Here goes

It's not so exciting yet. The explanation. I basically arranged to meet a colleague -- another prof who's very, very left, very much an activist and who I've been supposed to meet for awhile b/c we're like minded and interested in the same topics. We arranged to meet Mon. cuz it was a holiday. He's involved in Occupy Wall Street so he suggested we meet nearby there.

I admit I hadn't been down there yet. Tho I've been encouraging students to go and I've been following it closely. And my friend G has been going (go, G!)

The thing is that I teach this class on urban inequality and we cover EXACTLY all the stuff the protests are about -- the whole 99% thing, the tax rates thing, etc. etc. This is my stuff. I show the students the historical factors that got us here, and then I talk about all the ways inequality is structured into our system. Yadda yadda. I teach them that, as an activist guy I know said, "there's only so much pork in the pig". For the rich to be rich, the poor must stay poor. Or the rich get rich b/c the poor stay poor. Our policies support that system. Yadda Yadda again.

It's a ginormous class but that's b/c it fulfills a requirement. Until 2007, the students were fairly glassy-eyed. Then they started to get more interested and they started to tell their own stories -- about getting stopped and frisked for no reason; about getting laid off; about growing up on public assistance; about having to choose between staying on public assistance and going to college; about working 3 jobs and going to school. About getting kicked off assistance b/c they showed up 20 min. late to a meeting. About having to spend entire days waiting in lines to get their benefits. Etc. It's unbelievable what goes on when you don't grow up with privilege, or a safety net.

But it's been feeling pretty depressing, like nothing will ever really change. Esp. after 2007 when people were just so quiet. This totally caught me off guard and I think it's really really excited.

Back to the protest. It was packed with all kinds of people -- sure, lots of patchouli-scented students, and lots of homeless people. But also elderly folks, and kids and parents with kids and tourists and basically every kind of person you'd see on the street. I teared up. It was pretty moving. So many people devoted to change. So many people fed up with the status quo.

So anyhow this colleague I met was on his way to a meeting of the Demands Committee and he invited me. Sounds like a tough bunch -- some want to articulate demands, some don't. They want all kinds of things. And of course the process has to be democratic which means it must be endless and tiresome. I didn't go that day but as I've thought about it and gotten more excited I changed my mind.

So the meeting is Tues. and I'll have more to report after that. Hopefully it will be more exciting than this post.

Meanwhile, I have to get back to writing a midterm on -- you guessed it -- poverty and affluence in the US....

another unrelated post

Was asked to be on the "demands" committee for the Wall St. protests. Went down on Monday and was very moved.

More on this soon as I have time to write it out.

Been traveling every 10 days and will do so thru November.

Apparently, left pronouns on one of these trips.